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שיר תסכול של משורר צעיר

בְּשִׁעוּר סִפְרוּת זֶה קָרָה.

בִּזְמַן שֶׁהַמּוֹרָה לִמְּדָה אֶת בְּיַאלִיק,

עֵינֵינוּ הִצְטַלְּבוּ, וְיָדַעְתִּי, אֲנִי מְאֹהָב.

מֵאוֹתוֹ רֶגַע רַק רָצִיתִי לְהִכָּנֵס תַּחַת כְּנָפֶיהָ.

הַיֹּפִי הַזֶּה שֶׁלָּהּ נָגַע בִּי, הִקְסִים אוֹתִי.

הָיִיתִי חַיָּב לְסַפֵּר לָהּ שֶׁאֲנִי אוֹהֵב אוֹתָהּ.

אֲבָל הִתְבַּיַּשְׁתִּי לוֹמַר,

אָז הֶחְלַטְתִּי לְהַגִּיד לָהּ אֶת זֶה בְּשִׁיר.

חָשַׁבְתִּי, אֶכְתֹּב לָהּ מָה אֲנִי מַרְגִּישׁ,

מֵהַלֵּב, הֲכִי אֲמִתִּי שֶׁיֵּשׁ.

אֲבָל זֶה לֹא יָצָא כְּמוֹ שִׁיר,

וְאָז, מָחַקְתִּי.

אָז הִשְׁתַּמַּשְׁתִּי בְּשִׁיר הַשִּׁירִים,

כִּי זֶה שִׁיר הָאַהֲבָה הֲכִי טוֹב שֶׁיֵּשׁ.

"שְׁנֵי שָׁדַיִךְ כִּשְׁנֵי עֳפָרִים"

וְאָז, מָחַקְתִּי.

אָז כָּתַבְתִּי סוֹנֶטָה, כְּמוֹ שֶׁלָּמַדְנוּ בַּכִּתָּה.

עִם אַרְבָּעָה בָּתִּים, חֲרוּזִים וּמִשְׁקָלִים,

"לִבִּי שָׁרוּי בְּהֶלֶם וַאֲהוּבָתִי חֲמוּדָה כְּעֶלֶם"

וְאָז, מָחַקְתִּי.

אָמַרְתִּי, אֶכְתֹּב לָהּ כַּמָּה הִיא יָפָה,

עִם מֶטָפוֹרוֹת וְדִמּוּיִים מוֹדֶרְנִיִּים.

"אַתְּ יָפָה כְּמוֹ בַּר רְפָאֵלִי"

וְאָז, מָחַקְתִּי.

לְבַסּוֹף לָקַחְתִּי קְצָת מִזֶּה וּקְצָת מִזֶּה.

עָרַכְתִּי, הֶעֱתַקְתִּי, הִדְפַּסְתִּי וְחָתַמְתִּי.

אַחֲרֵי הַהַפְסָקָה, לָקַחְתִּי נְשִׁימָה עֲמֻקָּה,

וְדָחַפְתִּי לָהּ אוֹתוֹ לַתִּיק.

לֹא פָּנְתָה אֵלַי, לֹא בַּטֶּלֶפוֹן וְלֹא בְּהוֹדָעָה,

אֲפִלּוּ לֹא בְּמֵיְל.

אביב מויאל, יליד חורף 1984, בוגר החוג לספרות באוניברסיטת תל אביב במגמה לכתיבה יוצרת, בוגר כיתת השירה של הליקון 2011, וטבח במקצועו. ספר זה מכיל את מיטב שיריו שנכתבו בין השנים 2016-2006.

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